You know the story.
Boy meets girl. Boy cheats on girl.
Has that ever happened to you, or someone you know?
A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine told me the news, and she asked me to write about it.
Not about the buffoon, of course. We don’t spend time on jerks here. Period.
But we do cater for broken hearts and lost souls.
If that’s you, read on.
First, a Love Note
You’re going through a tough time.
So before we continue, I want you to read my love note:
“You’re absolutely phenomenal. Your gifts are precious and there is no one like you in this world. Thanks for being you.”
Now, you might look at this and think that it doesn’t apply to you.
Well, it does.
Read the love note over and over again. Listen closely to the words and let them sink into your unconscious. Let these caring thoughts steer you in a new direction.
Don’t Respond to the Hurtful Voices
Heartaches are tricky because they make you feel less of yourself. Somehow, they make you deny the fundamental truths about who you are.
Whenever you hear things like:
- “I don’t deserve…”
- “I’m so stupid”
- “I feel like the worst person in the world”
Whatever you do, never respond to these hurtful voices. Just let them pass.
This is the most important step in your healing process, because these voices need your response to survive. Without the response, they slowly fade away.
What You Must Do Instead
You must respond to the supportive voices in your head and act on their commands.
Your supporting cast consists of the following three lead voices:
- The warrior
- The forgiver
- The believer
Hear what they have to say and act on it:
#1. The Warrior:
“Screw him, I deserve better!”
#2. The Forgiver:
“You made a silly mistake. It’s OK. I forgive you. Now move on.”
#3. The Believer:
“I need this time for myself. Now I can finally travel! When the time is right, I’ll meet someone again.”
Dance alone for a while. Try out some new steps. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll stumble upon a dance partner who loves you for who you truly are.
True Love Is Action
There’s so much talk about love, we actually forget what it is. We confuse it with desire or sex.
By the end of the day, love is the sum of our actions.
It’s the husband making his wife a cup of tea. It’s the sister making her brother a cook book. It’s the friend that writes a blog post.
They may seem trivial, but they’re not. Their stories have a happy ending.
Thank you so much for this. It’s though – I find myself arguing with my supporting cast. When the warrior tells me I deserve better, I think “..but he’s the best”. As I read on, however, I realized that he might be the best I’ve met thus far but that doesn’t mean I won’t meet better. I’ll keep reading the love note until I believe it. It’s more meaningful than any of the ones HE ever wrote.
I love you!
You’re not alone! EVERYONE is struggling with their internal voices, the gist of this brain game is to know who to listen to when, and how to act on it. Keep reading the love note until you believe it.
I love you, too!
People had been telling me these things for ages in bits and pieces, but I just didn’t believe them until I read them all together like this. Thank you for solving my emergency!!! I’m still the amazing person I was before and he can be his own self as well. What I’m mourning is a dead end and definitely not true love! Here’s to more loving actions for everyone!!! Let’s not limit ourselves!
Hi, I’m so glad to hear that my blog post had this effect on you. Sometimes it helps to have all the information in one place. It makes it easier to connect all the dots and digest the message. As for the mourning, listen to the forgiver. I’m grateful that you see it’s a dead end: most people can be stuck there for years! The sky is the limit!
Hi Olle, thanks for this, it’s lovely.
I’m wondering how I can share your entries on Facebook? So far I can only see a ‘Like’ button…
x Katie
Hi Katie,
Thanks for leaving a comment. I’ve now changed the Facebook button so you can share my entries to Facebook. I thought that the ‘Like’ button would allow that too but apparently I was wrong. Please let me know if the new button works for shares (it should!). But then again, Facebook likes (no pun intended) to change things around. If you want to go old school, you could of course click the ‘More’ button and send the post as an email to a friend.
Hope this helps, and I’m glad to see you here.
Kramar Olle
Thanks Olle, works a treat!
Look forward to more of your writing
x Katie
Thanks for sharing the love, Katie
Look forward to seeing more of you here.
Thanks and pay it forward,
Olle