The Most Overlooked Ingredient of Any Rewarding Relationship

Romantic DinnerIf you don’t know it’s Valentine’s Day today, you must either be living in a cave or lying buried underneath your sheets.

I wonder why…

A gazillion ads bombard us with marketing messages about this so-called Special Day.

For single people, this sends a strong message that goes something like:

“What, you’re SINGLE?”

In our head, this reminder often translates to:

“What’s WRONG with you?””

The fake smiles and phony looks of supermodels-who-secretly-suffer-from-self-doubt scream of a fear we all know too well.

It’s the fear of not being loved.

The fear of loss

But Valentine’s Day is not necessarily any better for couples.

Yes, the Special Day gives couples an excuse to celebrate their love, but there’s also a whole range of social expectations they have to overcome .

Cue the romantic Celine Dion music.

“Hey honey, you got the flowers, right?”

Not living up to your partner’s demands can sure fire worrisome thoughts throughout your brain.

In fact, research shows that you fear losing more than winning, especially when it comes to your decisions. This thought process is more commonly known as loss aversion and it was first covered by psychologist Daniel Kahneman.

So, maybe it’s not that bad being single after all…

Remember to put on your people glasses every day

But what can we truly learn from Valentine’s Day? Why is it even there in the first place?

Obviously, businesses keep it alive because they make money off of other people’s insecurities.

But I like to believe there is another, deeper, and more underlying reason.

Let’s not distort the message of what Valentine’s Day is actually about.

It’s about seeing that person day in and day out. Being there for them. Listening. Caring for them. And there’s no ad in the world that can change that.

People need to be seen. So, put on your people glasses and prepare to get loved!

Drop me a line or two in the comments and let’s chat about the mystery of love. The pot is boiling and we need your help to stir more ingredients into the mix.

Together, we can make more sense of this Special Day.

Photo credit: Simon Sees.